my favorite syllable

what is it about "ump" words that makes them so perfect for nastiness?

pump

hump

bump

jump

thump

plump

rump

i guess there's just something moistifying about that sound ...

i haven't been doing much lately

besides fucking.

should i feel unfulfilled?

because really, i don't. honestly, fucking is pretty fucking great. 

i suppose it would be different if i thought msg was just using me for a cum dumpster, but he lets me know in about a million little ways how much it means to him. especially the way he touches me before and the way he holds me after.

i was expecting to dress this blog up with all kindsa dirty pictures of me in different outfits and poses. and i still hope i'll get around to that at some point.

but for now ... gee whillickers, I like to fuck.

smooches (with tongue and a nice long hip grind),

claire

I want some ...

dirty-dog, from-behind, on-my-hands-and-knees, fast-pumping, who-cares-if-the-neighbors-hear, howl-at-the-moon, crazy-wild sex.

is there something wrong with that?

fortune cookie game

i love that fortune cookie game where you take whatever fortune you find in your cookie at the chinese restaurant, and then you add "in bed" to the end of it. only i haven't had any chinese food in a while, so i'm having to resort to making up my own fortunes.

remember to add "in bed" to these!!!

your social circle will soon be enhanced when a certain member takes a pleasurable dip

no cleanliness is quite so pure as the dirtiness that arises from working up a good, hard, honest sweat

fret not about the right thing to say to your love, for you will never give offense with a tongue used sincerely and imaginatively

learn to take pleasure in all kinds of weather, and you will never be disappointed to find yourself in a damp spot

put aside your worry and anxiety, for you will soon encounter enlightenment in the course of a transpositional multiorgasmic shagging that overflows with moaning, grinding, throbbing, slipping, sliding, cooing, plunging, groaning, gliding, panting, dripping and ultimately cum-spewing sex like you have never before experienced

home poem

i have arrived

and i have been swived

it's more than i hoped

how i like being groped!

he jumps me bones until they groans and tongues me cones while uttering moans

oh, oh, yes, is this ever sweet success

suck-cess

sexcess

excess

yes

yes

i confess

when we undress

and make a mess

of slipperiness

i feel blessed

it's so good to be home.

new toy

okay. so this part obviously goes there ...

and that's for my ... no, wait, that's ...

well, there's a panel for some batteries here, but how do you get it ... oh, i see. now it's open - only what the hell kind of battery fits in there? ugh. now i have to go dig in my junk drawer ...

...

...

that looks right. but which end's the plus and which end's the minus?

aha.

and then the panel goes back on ...

and then the (ergh) panel goes back on ...

whew.

so this switch activates the ... whoa. now that's some serious oscillation! i'm almost a little scared ... to ... test ... this ... 

oohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhohhhhhhhhhhhhhhoohhhhhhhhhhhohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhkay, then.

this one definitely goes in the category of 'well worth the money'.

Teaser Post

oh ...

ohhhhh ...

ooh!

nn-hnnn, mmm

oh ... oh .... oh ...

OH!

OH-OH-OH-OH-OH

nn-guhhhh

huhuhuhhhmmmm!

mmmmm

mmm

mn

wow.