I want some ...

dirty-dog, from-behind, on-my-hands-and-knees, fast-pumping, who-cares-if-the-neighbors-hear, howl-at-the-moon, crazy-wild sex.

is there something wrong with that?

fortune cookie game

i love that fortune cookie game where you take whatever fortune you find in your cookie at the chinese restaurant, and then you add "in bed" to the end of it. only i haven't had any chinese food in a while, so i'm having to resort to making up my own fortunes.

remember to add "in bed" to these!!!

your social circle will soon be enhanced when a certain member takes a pleasurable dip

no cleanliness is quite so pure as the dirtiness that arises from working up a good, hard, honest sweat

fret not about the right thing to say to your love, for you will never give offense with a tongue used sincerely and imaginatively

learn to take pleasure in all kinds of weather, and you will never be disappointed to find yourself in a damp spot

put aside your worry and anxiety, for you will soon encounter enlightenment in the course of a transpositional multiorgasmic shagging that overflows with moaning, grinding, throbbing, slipping, sliding, cooing, plunging, groaning, gliding, panting, dripping and ultimately cum-spewing sex like you have never before experienced