the camera adds ten pounds of orgasm

okay, so msg and i played around with our little video camera last night just to see what it would be like making our own porno.

how was it?

well, it was probably the most awkard, fumbling, stop-and-start sex we have ever had ...

and it was awesome!

we were like, trying to line up our angles, and msg was attempting to do things one-handed that he usually has two for, and i was like, 'honey, that camera is waayyy too close to my face. i don't think anybody's gonna want to watch an extreme zoom of my eye,' and he was like, 'right, but I'm kind of short on hands here, and i'm trying to keep from squashing you too much. if you wanted to help out, you could hold the camera while i'm trying to get this ... in here ...' and i was like, 'no, no, you're the director, and i'm totally ready for my audition, sir. and by the way, mmmmm.'

for some reason, having that doggone camera on just made everything soooo sexy.

'ow, my toe!' ... sexy.

'you're kind of on my knee' ... sexy.

'this angle is totally not working' ... ultra sexy!

why? i don't know. it was ridiculous!

and finally, when we were done (and by done, i mean, 'recovered enough to do something besides lying exhausted in a pool of our own sweat'), we loaded the results into the computer ... and we couldn't even watch them! the camera uses some format that none of our viewing software would show!

and it was still totally awesome!

i was all resigned to having to find another camera for next time, but today msg dug around online and downloaded a player that would run the files.

what were they like, you ask?

quite possibly one of the worst pornos ever shot.

and also completely hot!!!

the hand-held parts look like they were filmed by a caffeine junkie who's also scared out of his wits or shivering from cold. the parts where we set the camera on the floor or a counter are steady, but about half of them are angled wrong and just show a big patch of my bottom or msg's hairy thigh.

how can something so badly put together still be fucking incredible? i do not know.

but it was!

somehow, bad sex + bad filmmaking = absolute ecstasy.

we have ambitions of doing a better job next time, but honestly, if it stays this much fun, who cares?