the camera adds ten pounds of orgasm

okay, so msg and i played around with our little video camera last night just to see what it would be like making our own porno.

how was it?

well, it was probably the most awkard, fumbling, stop-and-start sex we have ever had ...

and it was awesome!

we were like, trying to line up our angles, and msg was attempting to do things one-handed that he usually has two for, and i was like, 'honey, that camera is waayyy too close to my face. i don't think anybody's gonna want to watch an extreme zoom of my eye,' and he was like, 'right, but I'm kind of short on hands here, and i'm trying to keep from squashing you too much. if you wanted to help out, you could hold the camera while i'm trying to get this ... in here ...' and i was like, 'no, no, you're the director, and i'm totally ready for my audition, sir. and by the way, mmmmm.'

for some reason, having that doggone camera on just made everything soooo sexy.

'ow, my toe!' ... sexy.

'you're kind of on my knee' ... sexy.

'this angle is totally not working' ... ultra sexy!

why? i don't know. it was ridiculous!

and finally, when we were done (and by done, i mean, 'recovered enough to do something besides lying exhausted in a pool of our own sweat'), we loaded the results into the computer ... and we couldn't even watch them! the camera uses some format that none of our viewing software would show!

and it was still totally awesome!

i was all resigned to having to find another camera for next time, but today msg dug around online and downloaded a player that would run the files.

what were they like, you ask?

quite possibly one of the worst pornos ever shot.

and also completely hot!!!

the hand-held parts look like they were filmed by a caffeine junkie who's also scared out of his wits or shivering from cold. the parts where we set the camera on the floor or a counter are steady, but about half of them are angled wrong and just show a big patch of my bottom or msg's hairy thigh.

how can something so badly put together still be fucking incredible? i do not know.

but it was!

somehow, bad sex + bad filmmaking = absolute ecstasy.

we have ambitions of doing a better job next time, but honestly, if it stays this much fun, who cares?

floorplay

i wanna be

off the hook

tonight

crazy. wild. as loud as i can get.

legs up. full of him.

slipping ...

dripping ...

wet.

i want him heaving over me,

breathing over me,

trembling,

membering my hole for me

squeezing sweetness into my deepness

and gasping for air with his hands in my hair

moaning, "oh, claire!"

while he's getting me there ...

getting me there ...

getting me ...

there!

mmm, mmm, mmnh!

my favorite syllable

what is it about "ump" words that makes them so perfect for nastiness?

pump

hump

bump

jump

thump

plump

rump

i guess there's just something moistifying about that sound ...

i haven't been doing much lately

besides fucking.

should i feel unfulfilled?

because really, i don't. honestly, fucking is pretty fucking great. 

i suppose it would be different if i thought msg was just using me for a cum dumpster, but he lets me know in about a million little ways how much it means to him. especially the way he touches me before and the way he holds me after.

i was expecting to dress this blog up with all kindsa dirty pictures of me in different outfits and poses. and i still hope i'll get around to that at some point.

but for now ... gee whillickers, I like to fuck.

smooches (with tongue and a nice long hip grind),

claire

I want some ...

dirty-dog, from-behind, on-my-hands-and-knees, fast-pumping, who-cares-if-the-neighbors-hear, howl-at-the-moon, crazy-wild sex.

is there something wrong with that?

fortune cookie game

i love that fortune cookie game where you take whatever fortune you find in your cookie at the chinese restaurant, and then you add "in bed" to the end of it. only i haven't had any chinese food in a while, so i'm having to resort to making up my own fortunes.

remember to add "in bed" to these!!!

your social circle will soon be enhanced when a certain member takes a pleasurable dip

no cleanliness is quite so pure as the dirtiness that arises from working up a good, hard, honest sweat

fret not about the right thing to say to your love, for you will never give offense with a tongue used sincerely and imaginatively

learn to take pleasure in all kinds of weather, and you will never be disappointed to find yourself in a damp spot

put aside your worry and anxiety, for you will soon encounter enlightenment in the course of a transpositional multiorgasmic shagging that overflows with moaning, grinding, throbbing, slipping, sliding, cooing, plunging, groaning, gliding, panting, dripping and ultimately cum-spewing sex like you have never before experienced

home poem

i have arrived

and i have been swived

it's more than i hoped

how i like being groped!

he jumps me bones until they groans and tongues me cones while uttering moans

oh, oh, yes, is this ever sweet success

suck-cess

sexcess

excess

yes

yes

i confess

when we undress

and make a mess

of slipperiness

i feel blessed

it's so good to be home.